I don’t want to be a WIFE Material!

The escalation of flirting and sexting is so high that the so-called intellectuals often end up saying “not Wifey material.” The casual encounters take a way of judging and unhinged thoughts making the perception of “not a Wife material.” This is also the product of a patriarchal society that points outs every shade of HER but not HIS.

Wifey Material, is a phrase to describe the girls who are believed to be suitable for marriage. This term talks about having some aligned characteristics and behavior to perform to be a good wife. And I would define this term as becoming something convenient and beneficial to the rigid man of society.

Apart, my curiosity led me to Google and the web contribution to these terms with quotes and poems is something that supports this misogynistic frame. Moreover, they also tell us to not get offended as if categorizing us on our living is not wrong. Learning to loveyourself.

The web is full of things that define, how a good wife should be. The list of traits is attached and at the bottom, they mentioned, that it’s all about personal preferences. It’s TRUE, it’s all about preferences but the one who has preferences shouldn’t judge anyone, irrespectively.

This is so ingrained that the concept of being wife or wife material compels the young girl to get married at an early age because this is only the thing that the patriarchy teaches them. And, if you’re against this hard-shell mindset they will tag you as the BURDEN or the BLACK-SHEEP of the family.

Movingly, if you’re not interested in cooking or doing laundry, or being opinionated, or maybe career drove, you fall under the shameless circle of being the TALK of the town.

every next Man defines,

A woman is a wife material if you can control her by a glance, unpaid domestic goddess, pure feminine and virgin, cultured-ingrained with the norms to please others.

And, the one who inherits the silence and doesn’t whine with a traditional heart but a slightly modern touch. The one who cooks and pampers like a mother cares for the family and binds everyone in one thread.

Also, the one who is submissive and devoted to husband and in-laws. Unrevealed Thoughts

There’s a fine line difference between being cultured and slutty and as a growing girl, we have to walk on that particular straight line. Falling on either side may label you.-have been listening to this!!

I heard people saying, there’s a difference between a girlfriend and a wife. Everyone can be a girlfriend but not all can be a WIFE. With this statement, every next fragile one judges and categorizes the one who wants to live independently. And, this whole methodologically set tradition to filter is wrong and biased.

 I Don’t Give DAMN!

I’m not a WIFE Material because I’m more worthy than labeling myself as a WIFE. I’m not a WIFE Material because I do not support this statement as this intentionally snatches my space to flourish giving me a bunch of self-doubts.

I do not support this because this ridiculously categorizes my every flaw and I do not want myself to wrap up with this ideology that gives the right to any random judgment. Don’t give a damn because this is groundless, unjustifiable.

I don’t give a damn about this WIFE Material because this has nothing to do about domesticated and twerking ability. It’s more to limiting and curbing the movement of WIVES. It’s more to uplift one gender over the self-respect of a struggling one.

There is already a lot on the plate for women to fight for. And, encouraging this mindset of stereotypes demolishing basic rights adds one more. The whole system is biased a lot for HER than this misogynistic wildly man who looks for the modern touch snatching the growth.

This LEADS to,

Marriage is teamwork, it’s not about being material. It’s more to be worthy and respectful to each other. Domestic skills won’t define and no one holds the right to define them. Unfortunately, we are still struggling with this embedded culture.

We witness the relationship where WIFE was tagged as perfect Wife Material but sadly she never experienced the actual relationship, the intimate attachment. This proves that the skills we are looking for are just the plus point, it has nothing to do with being a wife or girlfriend or for casual dating. Stop looking for fake bases!!

More to this, the statement WIFE Material gives you stress. The stress of not being good enough, the self-doubt, what do other women have that I don’t, the adjustment compromise, the divorce, or what if that comes to be abusive…..Where does this leave? – the confused state!! the stigma of being slim.

This holds the potential to create resentment within you, you blame yourself for not being suitable-desirable enough. You start questioning your existence, your shades, meanwhile, the real culprit is society.

the Final,

I’m tired of obeying and long ago I detached myself from that particular line. I don’t wait for my prince charming by being domestically skillful. Now, I find my partnership where there is no comparison between life skills, where there is only a sky of love. Where he holds me so do I.

Trust me, this term doesn’t make sense at all. This is only gonna stress you, gonna make you judge yourself which is unbearable. None of it matters, you don’t have to be like other girls. Be good for you, the right one will surely swipe right for everything. Be worthy, not a MATERIAL. You don’t have to be a Wife Material.

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( This post contains a few links and ads, and images from Pixabay which helps me to run this site. And also, this is all my self-expression through writing nothing demeaning.) Medium