With people, there are different perceptions when it comes to splitting the bills. I have seen people dependent upon their partner while some touched with the chapter of equality trying to bring change.
Whether, it’s an engaged relationship, friendship, or just the normal hangout, there remains the term partnership. And, as you’re involved in that relationship of partnership, both parties need to be involved in the finance. I know, this seems quite perplexing for the instant moment as we are not normalized by this culture. But honestly, splitting bills is drama-free. Unrevealed Thoughts
There’s a particular topic that seems to get arise whenever we are on a date or just thriving with friends: whether you split the bill or not. Considering that, a few days back I asked my Instagram followers, what exactly their take is on this heated topic over the period?
And, the reply I received was startling. Although, there was mixed opinion and argument I could sense they were looking forward to this part of the blog. This makes more sense to me because there are people who regret it after the first date. And may ask for the money back. (shared experience) For more, let’s see what followers have to say in this.
- The First(Male): It’s necessary to Split Bills. This makes your relationship smooth.
- The Second(Female): I think it’s a good step for everyone….and we have to normalize it.
- The Third(Male): That’s the better option.
- The Fourth(Male): Depends on the situation. If you have invited, it’s a good gesture that you pay, vice-versa.
- The Fifth(Female): That’s a good idea.
- The Sixth(Female): If both of them are employed, it’s better to split the bills. You should not always expect the other one to pay. It’s good to have the conversation.
- The Seventh(Male): I like to pay my own bills. But, if I’m asking someone, I pay. Or, with friends, I support splitting so that it won’t feel much to one’s wallet.
So, this was the response that I received. I thought there is no need to make the whole blog on this but some arguments and narrow down concept lines influenced by patriarchal belief compelled me. And, I also think, this is required because the responses include this too,
“my wife is a housewife and I am the earning head. She use to work before but as I work now and we are married there is no sense in splitting bills.”
Let’s dig the DEEP,
It won’t be wrong to say this is an UNPOPULAR opinion because female control towards financial part is very minimum comparatively. The gentleman should pay seems more convenient for the people around us live. The traditional norms, the patriarchal value suggest that man should be the sole breadwinner in the family. Unfortunately, this same mindset invited the Inequality in the financial part along with further coming thread creating imbalances. Is male privilege real?
The thing about social conditioning is deep-rooted. Whether it’s the financial part or the domestic chores, there is a marked line defining who needs to perform what. From very early, this part of society molds you and your activities that start looking like normal to behave. And, this is just the normalized part that influences every other person.
Just contemplate, you will find the patriarchal rules are set. Male members will earn and females will look after the domestic chores and be constrained to their houses. I don’t know why but still this rule sets apart the female from family discussion to the financial aspect.
Therefore, it became natural for the guy to pay or to offer considering the sole responsibility to pay is on his masculine shoulder only. If this is some masculine energy or ingrained concept, men feel stressed and lessened when it comes to seeking financial help.
The Changing Wave,
But, the waves are changing, inviting every HER to the table where the subject is she and even if not. Also, the responses I received are the prime evidence that says and proves, the people around want to have the conversation and go half on the bills. They want to break the stereotypes that say males should be dutiful and the earner.
The waves are turned to realize how the set rule has damaged self-esteem and pressurized an individual. If you dwell on it, it is not hard to understand the financial gap which is unfair and not in the interest of an individual as a whole merely because of being female or male. Express your feeling in a healthy way.
Money is a complicated issue and sometimes this is the reason behind the end of relationships, friendships, and families. So after decades, the conversation is hitting the cafes, motels, in chats, and on all sides socially and digitally. Fortunately, many digital apps work for splitting the bills taking a step ahead to create the balance.
I have witnessed the couple going 50-50 on bills. And, proudly flaunting it. They said we keep a few percentages for saving from each of us and the rest we share. But when the scene is just opposite, one partner being unemployed, splitting bills doesn’t make sense at all.
I believe, there are no gender roles determined except the biological part. And honestly, I expect a man to put half of their part or effort in every aspect from domestic chores to childcare to the financial aspect. I don’t like making one feel underneath and one struggling to manage. It’s better to communicate and sort out things before things get worsen.
The only practical way to level the financial gap is to talk and bring it up before the meet-up. No matter, it’s the first date or the normal chill party. You should be able to split the bill. So that, each person would feel financially valuable and responsible. This way, you will be able to understand the school of thought and the social mold they are absorbing.
Don’t forget, there is no right and wrong rule but still sharing is the best thing. A lot has changed from then to now. Women are now working and looking for their expenses and even more. Single mothers are doing the supreme things and breaking the traditional rule.
Polite ways to split the bills,
There is no fast-track thing. And, just having an opinion won’t make the deal. Also, as per my experience here are a few things I would like to talk about,
- Bring it up, before the actual event. This conversation will make things easier and you will end up having a great time.
- Offer to pay from both sides, this is the direct and rational approach to include. Politely, you can offer and go for the half of the table.
- One at a Time, recently I happened to be doing this. We met for the first time and he made the payment with the term saying the second round will be mine.
- Divide rule, when you’re engaged and there is an income gap, you can divide the specific bills as you both think better.
- Separate checks, you can ignore the splitting and directly ask for the separate bills. This is easier than making the calculation.
- Pay and Repay, One person paid and after that, you repaid your part of expenses instantly or the other time around.
- You also can use the digital app for splitting the bills.
This all means showing respect, sharing values, and promoting equality. People often ignore or fail to consider finance as an important factor when they are falling in love. The spark may get vanish if the financial part becomes the reason for an argument. Therefore, it’s all about the partnership in a relationship. Funny, but there is a satisfaction to rule the half of the table. The Art of Living Single.
It can be difficult to come up with this but learning is always necessary. And, for being independent financial freedom is the most prominent side to look for. Eventually, you will start leading and taking the power on.
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