One major reason why this prevails is because of the continuation of such practices for a long time. And, the silent mouth never jumps the desk to speak, no one goes against it.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock is a culturally recognized union between people, called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their in-laws. Though it defines the establishment of rights and obligations. In reality, that comes with the box filled with limitations for her and not for him. Female masturbation is no longer taboo.
This society inherently follows the idea of marriage that comes with handing over deeply entrenched never-ending continuous sexual consent to the husband. And, this is the present that is in the edge to forward, immodestly.
Here, sex is still considered taboo. And, female masturbation is an unholy practice that you can only discuss in hushed tones with only YOURSELF. No wonder, criminalizing marital rape is a long way to go where marriage implies they both have consented to further sexual intercourse and it cannot be taken otherwise.
Let’s dig the term, a little deeper…
Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. According to the dictionary meaning, marital rape is a rape committed by the person to whom the victim is married. Unwanted sexual activities (forced sex, physical, verbal or mental threat, and manipulative sex) by a spouse without the other person’s consent is marital rape.
Spousal rape is another common name for marital rape. The lack of consent is the essential element and need not involve physical violence. Marital rape is considered a form of domestic violence and sexual abuse.
Turning back the history,
The cases of marital rape existed centuries ago. But were strongly protested during the second wave of feminism. It started getting recognition during the second half of the twentieth century. Unrevealed Thoughts
In the last 2-3 decades, such cases have been brought into legal action. More than 140+ countries have already recognized marital rape as a criminal offense. However, countries like India, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Laos, Maldives, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, and many other countries in Africa and Asia haven’t criminalized marital rape.
Similarly, Malaysia, Singapore, Lebanon do not have a concrete law and are confusing when it comes to marital rape.
The issue of marital rape is not new. It was and is prevailing without pandemonium. And to a great extent, sill unheard concept in a patriarchal society like Nepal, with no autonomy or agency over their bodies.
According to the NDHS report 2016, 26% of women have ever experienced spousal physical, sexual or emotional violence among which 7% have experienced sexual violence. 34% of women who have experienced spousal physical or sexual violence have sustained injuries while 66% of women experiencing violence have not sought any help. In 2014, a survey was conducted among 362 married women going to the health post for their checkups. Among them, 56.6 percent of women were facing spousal rape daily or frequently. They were raped by their husbands. Even during the time of illness, pregnancy, right after delivery, and menstruation.
Miscarriage (spontaneous abortion and pregnancy loss), vaginal tears and unwanted pregnancy were some of the staggering consequences of marital rape among those women surveyed. There are far too many unreported cases of spousal rape.
According to the study conducted by the Wellesley Centers for Women, most husband- rapists assaulted their wives to reinforce their power, express anger and control over their wives.
The societal belief.
The concept of the holiness of marriage is the whole reason that we witness the person very less likely to speak against her husband. Or even talk about the violence they suffered from other people. Here, we worship the same feet of husband with flowers that hit, making you unconscious. I know, it is the most filthy practice but this is the only way to celebrate the so-called toxic masculinity. How to set healthy boundaries?
Steeping over one’s self-respect or body is nothing surprising in this male privileged society. And that’s why it’s less likely to found people complaining about Marital rape.
In such a traditional, hegemonic patriarchal society, social stigma and uninformed belief (on the part of both spouses) that forced sexual relation by a husband without the consent of the wife doesn’t constitute violence/rape.
So, the lack of awareness about the autonomy of their own body and information that marital rape is a crime is not only causing rape but also preventing the victims from seeking justice and warn the perpetrators. As a result, intimate partner violence (including rape) is prevalent in Nepal.
However, the landmark decision of the Supreme court in 2006 has declared, the sex without a wife’s consent is rape and punishable by law. It’s a huge turning point, the Criminal Code criminalized marital rape for the first time in Nepal.
In recent years, the people and activists around initiated to acknowledge a right to abstain from sexual intercourse to liberate themselves enhancing the impartment of knowledge.
Although, the Criminal Code of Nepal has defined Marital Rape as a criminal offense. There’s still a long way to go. And also, It’s high time to make people understand what CONSENT means. And, How the absence of consent is termed as marital rape/ rape?
Who are the perpetrators?
- Hypermasculinity and the unemployed men. They tend to celebrate their hypermasculine treating other as inferior to exist in their world normalize the violence against female. Actually, they are the real contractors of society. They pull out the each rope of humiliation giving it the name of tradition and culture.
- Men with low Self-esteem and intense self-hatred. They see themselves as failures and cannot digest the achievement of their partner finds the forcing in bed as the best way to treat making her feet chained.
Besides this, there’s a lot of societal and home factor that creates differences. And, the main reason behind this is illiteracy considering their bodily rights and the consensual thing. We, south-Asian often try to cover the inside violence in the name of privacy. Or, traditional belief until it reaches to extreme level inviting death.
Females going through, The line between cleavage to sleeveless.
Talking about the females going through this, Fear, anxiety and depression, deep self-hatred, and confused state is the outcome of this under-carpet thing, that shouldn’t be.
Rape is Rape, with no further explanation and justification. No condition whatsoever can deny the perpetrator of its conduct. NO-nothing matters, not the age, gender, or marital status, rape is rape. We have inherited and are on the way to pass some of the absurd belief elevating Male position as high to step over her dream castle is wrong. The about page
We as a people should evolve first. And, then the society and the community as a whole. But to guide, there should be laws enforcement and guidelines. The judiciary point to punish the perpetrator.
Marital rape cannot exist as implied consent, it’s high time to speak against forced and battering rape, the obsessive rape. Marriage is not the legitimate license for men to act inhumanly. We should not forget forced sex is a violation of one’s fundamental right. And, the law should be there to protect and modify the term as we cannot let the so-called superpower judge.
Therefore, NO is NO. And, marriage does not give license to feel accepted for any threatening act and violence against her. It’s a myth that defines women as the giver. Historically, our society struggles to comprehend the real essence of this discussion but now, marital rape is heinous. We are the ones to spread and speak for the right to bodily integrity.
It will take time to establish within the scope of the right to bodily integrity and dignity. But we as humans should be more conscious of our stand. Instagram
And, also contains links and ads, and images from pixabay. And, it helps me to run this site and work more on these unreached ideas. (This post is the guest post from our friend, feel free to drop your queries.) Samip pandey
Keep Loving, Living, and Sharing. Profile.